I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
