I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
