Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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