Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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