I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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