and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize