also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
