If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
