your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
