I'm really into asian looking animals
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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