I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
