I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
