I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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