Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
why is half of my head shaved?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
