True but thats because hes a fetus.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
He has the fingertips of a God
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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