Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
