I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
