There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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