And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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