College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Send help, water and tortillas.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
