We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
