bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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