Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
