Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
