Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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