I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
