he wants to bone in the snuggie
Small penises have feelings too.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
