the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
