bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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