the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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