i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize