Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
