ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
