# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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