No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
