If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
