Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
So I just went to clothing optional bar
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
