What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
