I think my vagina is haunted
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
