I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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