Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
