If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
