your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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