I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
