so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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