Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize