Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
