Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize