She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
