Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
