I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I fill condoms, not promises.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
