He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
you had me at cake vodka
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
