pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
