bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
