This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
